And now we ( I ) wait.

From Friday.

Done and done. I sent IT. Exhale.

4 days prior ( who am I kidding, 5-8 years secretly and unaware) I was inundated with what if, why not, maybe and forget it, the sea parted. The fog cleared and the heaviness lifted. Not fully but just enough to allow my grip to loosen and release the want for more. More of this and the idea of what this can become. Even now as I pause and think, the smile is both inside and out. I feel at home with my thoughts and anticipation.

After some more research I realize now and kick ( kicked ) myself for it....and continue to kick hard. My idea of the ideal was and some days still is simple: to be healthy and happy. BUT, the happiness that I now know I want is one of abundant happiness. With figs and feathers. Strolls and help. Travels and business that comes in piles of commitments, a life of blinking for more than a second to allow the blessings to be swallowed. A life for my partner and I to live and imagine peace as a reality.

My writing has paused from the daily expression, my dear readers...
Do not fear or lose your focus, no need to write in. I am still here, the progress is this:
This is working! What started as a simple inspiration where the basics were butter and more butter has become a tangible, attainable adventure.

The hope is the change and everything else...