Oatmeal to Freak!

I'm up, oatmeal and started to write and then crash....the idea that came so easily out of my mind and onto this virtual paper was gone.

My topic, what topic, it was something else and now has changed to the following: dealing with expectations and how they affect us on the daily. Sounds so serious, like a class something 101.
I read somewhere that " expectations are a premeditated disappointment" That is genius!
And they are just that.

ex. 1
I sat myself down to begin my week with this blog, peace, quiet, nothing but imagination and thoughts running through my veins when it happened. Not one, but several it's. Ahh followed by: ****, and more ****** like it.
My tendency was and is to react and expect that since I am obviously at work, in my element, doing what I am doing...I would be left in silence, well that's not what she, he! wrote.
Did I premeditate this outcome? I don't mean did I wish it, but did I expect it? Had I simply continued on to write, think and transfer ideas and opinions for you all, my dear readers instead of stopping the flow and expressing my disappointment, would this have happened.

Maybe not, or maybe still.
Let's look at some more examples.

We do something, anything....send an email, leave a message, say something to someone, sometimes in a moment where they weren't exactly listening but you know they will review later. We do this and already smile and stand up straight to receive...receive  " the answer we already think we should get" but that is not what comes out. What does come out is a great answer but not as great as ....you get it right. Ok, moving on. What was said wasn't the ideal, no compliment but a remark, introducing a thought that we have already thought of in many forms. We have analyzed this response or action to teeny weeny bits and pieces, to work out how it best suits us. Yes us, note the situation where there is more that just ourselves, there usually is an us.

So as we go on through our day waiting for this big pink elephant we have put in the room to show its face we are slowly saddened, angered and feel let down. And why shouldn't we feel that way...after all we deserve it. Or did we ask for this feeling ( of read above ) When only to find that if we really look hard we ourselves have created the monster. Not allowing for the personality of every individual to interpret as they should. Again, we do that too so why not the rest of them. Oh boy, questions of why and why not. I feel like I'm in my terrible 2's. ( Not so much but the 2' + 9. Ha!

Let's now do an exercise for the day and for the rest of week where I would like you all to try what I just described. Be honest and really do it. Expect your expectations but become aware of them. Now that I am writing about it I have put myself out there to be the #1 guinea pig. I will be the starter...but you must follow.  I am constantly haunted by such expectations and like the sugar and dairy must stay away from it for it is now becoming toxic. I love too much to be this way....I love you and will do better!

Instead of just taking issues and people and events as they are, good or bad and dealing with them as they come and individually ...we hold on to the past and drag every event into the present and future and find a way to justify it. Why do we do that? It's craziness. I will tell you why....because it is easier to focus on negative issues where we can find sympathy and have the right to lash out and show anger than breathe deep, think about it and move on. It just is. It just is. All together now...it just is. And that's ok...it is...but we have to be better, grow and keep growing. 
This is hard, it is the hardest thing we as humans have to do. Live in the moment and leave the past and future where they belong. It belongs there. What is hard is the best to try and do because once you do it you can show it off and say " i did it"....at least let's all try...
We cannot change or control the superficial issues that were and will be BUT we can change today. How we are today, deal with today and what it is presented to us.

So, back to the exercise. Everyday starting today make mental notes on expectations you had, big or small. Could be as small as that the coffee person at the shoppe didn't ask you if you wanted 1% or 2% in your coffee, where you expect him/her to obviously ask. Make a note of that and how you felt. Sounds stupid, or you are probably thinking that such a small thing doesn't matter but guess what!!!! if you notice it, it matters. Anything we notice whether we are vocal about it or not matters. It gets stored with us all day and with all the other events to come will only turn out to eventually pop and by pop I mean pop.

I will do the same and we will do a summary at the end of the week.
I believe that if we can train our minds to slow down and pre-occupy itself with the positive rather that expecting the negative we will have a better day to day outcome. It's better to go on and on to others and in yourself about goodness, happiness and all that good b.s....do it all day!!! Bore others with it and drive your devil insane.
I mean when do we ever find ourselves expecting a great reaction, outcome etc. Rarely. For the most part we anticipate that when we present ourselves with something requiring a reaction, have already envisioned so far ahead and so specifically that when the reaction is unleashed and not as I or you had it play out, there is now no room for that error in flight. What I have noticed through careful observation that if left alone and not given another thought, things usually work out. Nothing or no one is perfect but usually everything works out....When I ponder and plan out and scrip out my day from hello to good night....the room for error has now become the Universe...endless and dark. Anyone can fall off the pedestal if put there.

Ahh, a tough one for Monday morning...but I will enlighten you all with the usual What If Monday later this evening for a pm ready if anyone is around.

So go out there, be honest. Try hard and don't try to control yourselves. This week is to be yourselves, and make the mistakes I introduced. Next week will be to recognize and correct them.....if we are willing. That's all.

Ok...go!