New Year

What is it about something, anything new that is so exciting and gives off the instant "now" factor.
Totally off topic but kind of one topic with the new ...
Anthropologie's new catalogue, oh my, I almost choked on my chamomile tea while on page 31. A magnificent colour, feminine and flirty neckline, cozy yet sexy sweater that if I lived alone would be on a hanger and on permanent display in the living room. A piece of heaven that deserves to be admired from afar but also worn with utmost character. A beauty and over my budget of course.
It's fall, new everything...new colours, trends, knits, patterns, scents, foods, ideas, books, gifts, courses, music...endless. With less than 3 months left of 2009, the new beginning toward a new year is intoxicating. The usual stress and pressure of cramming and starting out fresh has left me. I am a new me already. Working and dreaming and planning my way to the top. A top that may not be a top for all or not a top at all but a top for me where I look down and feel proud. I am looking, feeling and all of it is different. No more rose coloured windows for this chick, windows are clear, real and open.

I've never felt like this before. Could be my new found change, that is propelling me to wanting more, now and yesterday. I have no patience, must happen, must see progress to stay focused.
Trick yes, impossible nonsense!

Just today I woke up and contemplated several times back and forth whether or not to go into work. Don't get me wrong I enjoy my job. Surrounded by beautiful things in the best Toronto neighbourhood amongst lovely people, clients and staff. Just divine...but This Writing...ahhh this time I share with you... it's heavenly. I'm on a endless cloud, if I could be stranded on an island with my music, pen and paper ( ideally a laptop but for romance sake pen and paper has a prettier sound) and my husband I would die one happy happy lady.
I contemplated because my mind was inundated with thoughts and ideas, topics and controversy. The writing is the blood, air and joy that is with me now. I carry it so dear, why I waited so long to introduce it, who knows. A regret, perhaps but maybe not...a delay sounds fair.

The anticipation of a new year when already the new me is brewing is exciting and scary all at the same time. The leaves are coloured now, as my thoughts and strengths are. Leaves die, what will happen to this passion. Will I survive?

I will survive, but the ideal, well, could be altered but I hope not by much.